I have to write my testimony tonight...how I came to accept Christ and the changes he's made in my life and my questions and concerns about Christianity.

The trouble is that was all over a year ago and I don't remember. And I don't act like a Christian, and I don't generally say I'm a Christian....I haven't even considered myself a Christian.

I've even spent a lot of time trash talking typical Christians...the ones who are overly critical of movies and only hang out with other Christians and are homophobic and...._{Conservative Republicans}.

And I still stand by my reasons for not liking a lot of Christians. They're the ones who make Jesus look so bad....jeez, I don't even really like the name Jesus anymore. Not that I ever loved the name, but...I even kind of cringe when I hear or see it. Is there something wrong with me...? I'll call him Christ instead then. That's not quite so bad.

I was raised a Christian and I've always believed that God exists and Christ was born and died and rose, but after that seriously horrible year at Covenant High School my first freshman year where everyone was Christian but aside from the religion aspect, believed in everything the exact opposite that I did. They ridiculed people who didn't share the same opinions as me so I think that's where it started to go downhill.

Ew there's a booger on this desk! Ew. Sooo gross.

Anyway, so after Covenant is when the animosity started and though I knew it wasn't true, I started thinking that to be a Christian you had to be a Republican and not have gay friends and not watch rated R movies and only hang out with other Christians (by the way, people who do that....how are you going to LEARN how to witness to people?) and pretty much all except for two friends weren't Christian. I wasn't about to dump them and sacrifice whatever fun I could have in that fun deprived year.

Then my mom took me to her Christian friend's house to ask questions and stuff. She straightened me out and I came to be a self-professed Christian again.

But I still don't go around saying it and witnessing to people and acting like one. And I still don't like being grouped together with Bush (even though he's definitely not Christian, no matter what he says)and other people I cannot stand. And I've still been bad-mouthing other Christians whose beliefs and behaviors I don't like...gawd I'm such a hypocrite, I didn't like it when they bad-mouthed my opinions and views and now I'm doing the same to them. But what else am I supposed to do? Stand back and say nothing? I can't do that.

Okay so now basically I need to edit that and change things around and add some things here and there and delete a whole lot and it will be ready to go...