God, why am I even bothering to talk to my mom right now? She's just (possibly inadvertently) making me feel like a complete failure at life.

I was sort of proud of myself earlier because I actually talked to people in my dorm yesterday, and today I called the financial aid department, both of which are not that easy for me to do.

But then... (paraphrasing)

Mom: Have you called the people at the Com department to try and get into any com classes?
Me: ....no
Mom: Have you gotten a job yet?
Me: ....no

Jeez sorry I'm such a loser.

The part that sucks though is that she asked me a few days ago, on Friday if I'd picked up a job application. I hadn't, but I said I did because I really was intending to. But I didn't have time on Friday. And then I am pretty sure they were closed over the weekend, so then I went today but the sign didn't say they were hiring any longer. So what the fuck am I supposed to do?

Oh god, another text. She asked me if I put in an application at the dining hall yet. I said no. She's going to be pissed. But it's not my fault! When they are hiring, they put the sign out there in plain view, right in the front. And that sign is not there right now.

Oh, a reply.

"Why not?"

Uhhhh because I don't think they are hiring?

Pssh. Besides, who would I contact about that? I don't know.

This shit is pissing me off. I'm in a bad fucking mood now. Thanks mom.

I'm such a loser.

And it's really hot in here right now which is not helping anything. It was like 88 degrees out earlier. So freaking hot. I really wish this place was air conditioned.

Another text.

Mom: ASK! Don't make excuses any longer. Find out!
What I'm thinking: AND WHO THE FUCK SHOULD I ASK? )
What I actually say: Ok
Mom: The sooner you do it the better. There will be more openings available.
(and who says there are any available right now ANYWAY? Damn it.)

God I don't need this shit right now. I'm still a bit stressed about the friend situation. I talked to my bathroommate some more yesterday and that was cool, but I also really should find some people who will be here longer than a year. Fuck I'm going to be screwed.

Mom has no idea what's going on with my friend situation... how it's not even been a week and I am already sick to death of my friends. I could make a whole list of things that are annoying me about them right now. But I won't. Even though I am really tempted right now.

I'll just mention a few.

Oh fuck I am going to make the fucking list. Can't help it.

1. The partying - JUST GIVE IT A FUCKING REST. THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST GETTING DRUNK ALL THE DAMN TIME. I wouldn't care so much if it was every once in awhile but it seems like every activity has the bottom line of getting drunk.

2. How come every single thing we do as a group have to be off campus and expensive? Going out to eat 10 times a week? I CAN'T AFFORD THAT. Just because your parents give you a fat allowance of spending money does not mean that mine do.

3. Going to Wal-Mart does not constitute a fun day out. And besides, Wal-Mart sucks. Why do we always have to go there? Have you noticed I never buy anything there?

4. I do not like the rude jokes about Asians and other people. They are not nice. They are not funny. They are annoying and they really piss me off.

5. There are other movies besides action movies. And OMG, did you know they've been making movies for almost 100 years? WOW, what a concept! How about we try watching some movies that are older than 5 years?

6. Same with music. OPEN YOUR MIND. (I know it can be hard, hell I have difficulties with having an open mind myself but at least I am trying!) I swear, they only listen to what is popular. Just because it's popular. Which is not a good enough reason.

7. Why are you guys so rude to a certain someone else in our group? She's always been nice to me and from what I can see she's always polite when we're all together as a group.... I really don't get it at all, and you have not explained it to me. So don't expect me to share your attitude on the matter.

8. Can you please cut it out with all the drama? JEEZUS I have never witnessed so much drama before in my entire life. It's ridiculous, immature and stupid. AND I DO NOT GIVE A FUCKING SHIT.

Um...and that's all I can think of at the moment.

As you can see I am feeling very bitter towards them at the moment....