I don't even know

Sunday, Aug. 21, 2011, 14:36

Okay so I've been back at WSU for a few days now. Since Tuesday.

I really really really miss Sonia and Aimee and Rebecca though.

Here's what I wrote on my Tumblr:
I really am starting to miss my friends from home right about now�. I dunno�. I feel like there�s kind of a distance between me and my school friends since we�ve gotten back�. probably since they all live in apartments together and I�m the only one left in the dorm. Which was my choice�. cause I�m going to try and study abroad in London�. but still, it�s like I don�t have anything in common with them anymore.

And it's true, I really do feel that way. All they want to do on Friday/Saturday nights is to party and/or go out and get plastered at Mike's. I would rather stay in my room or go downstairs and spend the night watching movies or playing board games or just plain talking. Which is what Sonia and Aimee would be into. That's what I'm used to doing with friends.

I am not interested at all in getting drunk. Nor do I wish to take care of other people who do want to get wasted. While I would not mind watching out for my drunk friends occasionally, I am not their mother and I refuse to do it every weekend.

And also, this may sound nitpicky and sort of bitchy and hipsterish but GOD they are so mainstream. The only music we ever listen to when we're all together is top 40 shit.

I'm not complaining about that just because it's modern music. I know there is good modern music out there. But that's not what they're listening to. You know, it would even be nice if they were at least willing to listen to other stuff. Or even sort of curious about what else might be out there. But nope.

I suppose some of that comes from having gone to art school which was indie kid/hipster central, and everything was a competition to see who liked the most obscure music. That in itself got really annoying (and very pretentious) but at least they would put forth the effort to dig down deep, past all the shit on the surface.

I don't even know what I'm talking about, really, or if it even makes any sense. I'm just frustrated.

I know I need to make some new friends but I don't know exactly how to go about it.

I need friends who would love spending a night in with popcorn and movies (not just blockbuster movies either, maybe some older, classic movies, or independent films), or going to the improv comedy shows or to the chamber orchestra performances. People who would be interested in the arts.

And unlike last year, I don't want a group of 20 friends. I would rather have one or two close friends. I do much better in smaller groups anyway. I've known the large group of 20 for a year now but I don't really feel all that close to anyone. Part of that is my fault, I am very closed and cautious, but again, that goes back to just the sheer size of the group - I am just not comfortable around that many people. Even if I know them all.

I probably sound like the pickiest bitch ever. I'm sorry. I just can't do last year over again. And I don't know if I can put up with them all trying to push me into going out to the bars with them when I did not have a good time last time.... or going out and doing things off campus without me because I can't afford it (seriously, I really do wonder where they get the money to do all the things that they do).

So.... that's currently how I am feeling. There's the dorm meeting in 45 minutes that I will be going to.... hopefully I will meet some people there. I really hope I do. Otherwise this will be a lonely year.

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