I've been watching too much TV lately. I watch reruns of shows like That 70's Show and Friends and I get slightly depressed because I really envy that in both shows they're always hanging out with their friends. And I'm alone all the time.

And then on Friends, they have their own apartments and they live on their own and they have roomates and jobs...granted they're all a little older, but...I don't know. I guess I'm a little bit jealous.

It gets me thinking though, about what I would like for my own life. I guess I can tell I'm becoming more ready to be able to feel comfortable enough to move out on my own...although financially, I won't be able to do so for quite some time! But emotionally and mentally I think I'm getting closer to that point.

I also look at the established adults around me (all of whom I would say are successful [sucessful meaning they have their own place and a good, steady job]) and I wonder how the heck they got to where they are today. Because I sure as heck can't yet decide what I want to do.

I can't decide whether I want to be a vet tech or a veterinarian, a web designer or a historian, an antiques appraiser or a racetrack hotwalker. I have no idea. I do know that I don't want to go through years and years of school. But most of what I want to do requires at least a 4 year degree.

I don't know about anything.

Having friends around would help though. Unfortnuately that's not an option. The only option would be to make new friends, but I don't see myself suddenly opening up and being overly friendly to anyone at school. I just do not feel comfortable enough at all to even talk to people there.