My list of things I miss from camp that I made a few weeks ago is awesome.

It includes:
Stargazing, adventuring off camp grounds, riding in the drill, not looking forward to overnighters, robbing the trading post (but not getting mobbed by childrens), mattress sledding, making brownies in Yukon's apartment, Saturday staff meetings, day camp breakfast, running the herd out (but not running the herd in because I like to sleep), getting excited over chocolate chip cookies at lunch, the big blue van beeping, having the option to ride every day (well kind of), barrel racing, complaining about morning chores, sharing a room with 6 other people, waking up and the first thing you see is a friend over in the next bed, sitting in the lame pen all alone below the crest of the hill out of sight of the barn watching and listening to the horses graze and listening to the wind in the trees, when the teen campers had breakfast in bed and optional breakfast, hanging out at Yukon's on Friday evenings piled on the futon, singing the ant song, the moose song, the tarzan song, the picnic double letter game, complaining about the new Steve regime, Carol's Sunday dinner line dictatorship, complaining about the unhealthiness of wrangler breakfast, going to Emerald Downs and being outside all the time.

And then I decided I was making myself sad thinking about that so I made a list of things I didn't miss. Which consisted of:
Mosquito bites, trailrides to and from teepee camp, going to devotions after fireside being completely exhausted, 3:45 AM wakeup calls, going to cabin cleanup, some of the food, constantly being tired, having little free time, having a night in/out the night before morning chores, worrying if I'm going to be the next one to mysteriously hurl undigested food, kids whining at you and telling you they can't do something, kids not listening to directions, and walking back up to the roost after devos in the dark.

And then...

...well, this is a more low-key depressing part, from my "analog" journal entry.

September 30, 2007
8:20 PM

I said I'd probably help out with the next horsemanship weekend this weekend. Fun, right? Well, I don't know. It was quite rainy and wet. And kind of awkward at a lot of times. I don't quite feel connected to Jessica currently. Like being around her feels awkward. Cause it's like, her and Keri are all close now. Keri even went with Jessica to Alaska to visit her family. And during the summer she spent practically all her free time with Poppet and Klondike. Honestly I feel quite pushed-to-the-side. Also, I appear to be pretty much the last one to not be on the payroll now. And it's not something I'm going to mention. That would be an awkward conversation. "Uh, yeah, can I be paid now?" No, it's something that has to be initiated by the boss person. And more then just the casual mention of "we can put you on the payroll", me saying "Okay that sounds cool!" and then nothing coming of it. That's happened several times already.

SIIIIIIGH.

I need to go to bed soon I'm really tired.

I am neither a night person or a morning person. I like to go to bed early and get up late.